Waking up with so many things on my mind is truly overwhelming. After saying a short prayer, I pick up my pen and start to write. I still use pen and paper by choice, not because I lack a laptop or a computer. I purposefully choose not to write directly on a screen because I want my mind and my hands to work together as a team. I want to create without consulting or involving any hybrid machines from the internet. Later on, of course, I will use my computer and Wi-Fi to share my finished writing on social media but the birth of my thoughts always happens on paper.
Nostalgia Pain
It remains
clear in my memory why I chose to leave.
I used to frequently compare our home to the loudest
prison;
A sanctuary, it seemed, for storms that brought heavy blows to my soul,
For it was inherently a dungeon of words I desperately wished to escape.
The news
that no one enters this house anymore has not faded from my mind,
Which is why I decided to return and dissect every room, piece by piece.
The old table and faded curtains the deepest corners are weeping,
And off to the side, the chairs that Father and Mother once used for waiting
seem to speak.
I still
remember how I tasted the lingering scent of yesterday,
How the tear in my chest surged with a wound that has no cure to heal,
Even the escape of my tears when I heard those past screams all over again,
Intertwining lyrics that have now turned into mere whispers.
Those
endless commands and consecutive rebukes repeatedly reawaken in my memory,
Leaving my deprived heart and mind anxious and lost in the company of
treacherous illusions.
The noises I once thought were ordinary were actually the secret whispers of
love;
Now that they are gone, I am haunted by a love I understood too late.